me

When I write I always listen to the same music. It's funny because its music that has no lyrics only instrumental. It helps me escape but also makes me cry too every time. It's almost like the music that can honestly tap into my soul. So today as I write and listen to my music and try and figure out myself.

I haven't really written about myself yet, that's because I don't think I ever honestly focus things on me. I never worry about myself or anything like that it's always about others in my life and how I come off on them. So as I try and tap in on myself I discover that I can't. I can't tell you who I really am because I don't know that yet. I know who I want to be, I know how I want others to see me but I can't seem to discover that in myself.

So how do I make this happen? How do I discover who I am by myself? I have always believed I'm not that great on my own. I've always looked for support in others to build who I can be. So what happens when they aren't there? I'm on my own. I have to become the person I want to be with or without them. Yes, they help but it starts with me. It starts with me discover who I am on the inside.

So here it goes. This whole blog is about a new beginning so I'm going to honestly start it. This is my chance to get to know me and understand what I'm all about. I have to stop trying to forcing myself to become something I think someone may want, when in reality all they want is who I already am. I can't put myself down anymore and I can't let others who do it get to who I truly am.

I want to be honestly happy. I want to be known for who I am. I want complete myself without the need of anyone else. I want to just know ME for the person I am.

Maybe in that perspective I can develop the belief in myself that I've always desired.